Worth Peepin'?: "The Catcher"

Posted: February 5, 2010 by Brendan Wahl in Worth Peepin'? Movie Reviews
Tags: , , , , ,

Most of you right now are probably thinking to yourself, “Man, I’m hungry.” But some of you may be wondering, “What in the hell is The Catcher? Is that the movie with acting god Freddie Prinze Jr.?” No, silly, that’s Summer Catch. The Catcher is far, far, um, different from that film.

First of all, if you do not know who David Heavener is, you should probably look that man up on IMDB and watch every single one of his films as soon as you can. As it stands, I’ve seen Lethal Ninja, Massacre, and now The Catcher, a “masterpiece of cinema.”

The plot is as follows: A former big-time baseball player in the minor leagues, David J. Walker (Heavener) is upset at his fellow teammates for bitching him out for losing their last game of the season. In one teammate’s words, “I’ve been here six years and you screwed up my chance to get in the majors.” Um, I’m pretty sure if you’ve been there for six years and still haven’t moved up the ladder of success, one member of your team is not the one to blame.

Yes, that is the entire plot.

The film takes place inside a baseball stadium. ALL 76 minutes of it. Oh, I’m sorry. There’s also a flashback scene at the beginning with Joe Estevez yelling at a small child for what feels like seven hours before said youngster cracks him over the head with a baseball bat and kills him.

I don’t even know how someone thought this would come together to make any kind of coherent film. David Heavener does what he does, I guess. I’ve actually talked to the man over the phone before and he’s a nice enough guy, but good Lord he needs to stay away from crap like this. The other actors in the film don’t even deserve mentioning except maybe the great Joe Estevez.

Here’s a guy who is Martin Sheen’s brother, but apparently did not take any of the acting talent from his sibling at the same time. He yells, screams, and contorts his face throughout his small part in the film much to the delight of anyone without ears that has to sit through his wonderfully horrific performance.

That withstanding, this film is of the horror/slasher genre, so you’d at least expect some slick kills, right? Wrong. What we get is a handful of lame death scenes, some very crappy sound effects, and only ONE cool death. Let’s just say that the killer sticks the baseball bat in an orifice that no one should ever have to experience discomfort in unless your name is Rip Taylor.

Not to mention that this film sports a terrible “twist” ending and some awful cinematography that would make Uwe Boll blush. I give this a:

0/10

and may God have mercy on whoever has had the discomfort of watching this drivel.

Worth Peepin’? If you can find it and if you enjoy the cinematic equivalent of getting slapped in the face with a hammer over and over again, yes.

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Comments
  1. macas539 says:

    Harsh! 0/10 must have really blown! Didnt even tip the rating scale on Worth Peepin’….

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