Saturday Night Live: Lindsay Lohan/Jack White (3/3/12)

Posted: March 4, 2012 by Brendan Wahl in SNL Reviews
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by Brendan Wahl

(Season 37, Episode 16)

The Show:

1. FOX Report (5:14)

Shepard Smith (Hader) (along with his dead mother) hosts the FOX news program in which he has a special interview with Mitt (Sudeikis) and Ann Romney (Wiig) along with their “five adult sons” (Armisen, MEYERS (!), Moynihan, Killam, & writer Michael Patrick O’Brien) in an effort to help out the campaign. Kid Rock (Samberg) also stops by to endorse Romney and sing the new campaign song.

– This was a great way to start the show and I like how they made the usual Romney opening a bit more interesting with the addition of his sons and Samberg’s funny portrayal of Kid Rock.
– I love how Hader’s Shepard Smith impression has gone off the deep end. It started with a bit of an exaggerated southern accent but now they really went all out with it with the Psycho reference involving the skeleton of his mother.
– Wiig did very well here with a mostly-silent role as Mitt’s wife and I laughed a lot at her various facial expressions.
– So random for Seth to be in this sketch but I guess he had to do it since Paul Brittain’s no longer there. It was funny when Killam was mentioning different things that they like to do and Seth was just subtly moving his hands in rhythm.
Rating: ****

2. Monologue (2:39)

Lindsay thanks everyone for allowing her the opportunity to host but then runs afoul of some of the cast’s little tests to make sure she remains clean and sober, including an ankle bracelet, Kenan checking her eyes, Kristen patting her down, and Jimmy Fallon making an appearance to point out Jon Hamm in the audience as “replacement host” if necessary.

– They addressed LiLo’s issues here as expected but did it in a pretty original and very funny way that I didn’t really see coming at all. The cameos from Fallon and Hamm were great.
– Best part here was Kenan saying he’s been stoned since Good Burger. Nice reference to that marijuana incident a few years back.
– What was with that random audience member yelling out “Kristen Wiig!”? I’m sure they got kicked out right after.
Rating: ****

3. The Real Housewives of Disney (3:18)

Much like the Housewives of Atlanta, this series focuses on a number of materialistic housewives constantly at each other’s throats. This one focuses on Snow White (Bayer), Rapunzel (Lohan), Belle (Elliott), Jasmine (Pedrad), and the drunken mess, Cinderella (Wiig).

– This was excellent and a very clever way to parody the Real Housewives show. My only note is that Lohan playing Cinderella would’ve made for a better joke but then again, I don’t think she would’ve done as good a job as Kristen did.
– My favourite parts were Kristen’s introduction (“I’m a huge fuckin’ mess…”), the dwarves bit, Pedrad cooking Abu into a casserole, Taran as the gay Prince Charming (especially that laugh!), and Abby’s demo tape.
Rating: **** 1/2

4. 2012 Psychic Awards (3:35)

Psychic Dan Fernando (Samberg) and assistant Lucy (Lohan) present a number of awards to various psychics and then show a memorial video of ones that will die during the following year.

– This was very funny and kept short enough so that it didn’t go beyond the premise’s short expiration date. It’s also the first time in a long time that I remember there being a good “awards show” sketch.
– Andy’s “the power of the mind!” bits were very funny and I like how the smoke barely came into frame.
– Hader not being sure of where to walk off the stage was a funny little detail that happens at almost every awards show.
– The memorial segment was great too, especially with the various facial reactions from the psychics who will die.
Rating: ****

5. Scared Straight (6:07)

Officer Sikorsky (Sudeikis) is tired of the punk kids (Moynihan, Hader, & Samberg) in his office and so he sends in Lorenzo McIntosh (Thompson) and Lindsay Lohan from the Scared Straight program to talk some sense into them. Instead, they make thinly-veiled movie references about their own lives and threaten bodily harm in prison.

– It was nice to see this sketch again as I have enjoyed pretty much every single edition of this recurring segment. I could see the twist of Lindsay playing herself from a mile away but it was still an inspired idea.
– Lindsay was obviously a little wooden here and had trouble with some of her lines but it didn’t really take away from the sketch too much.
– Jason also gets goofier with every one of these sketches, which is a good thing. I also loved how he crazily jumped up on the desk and caused everyone to laugh out loud. Otherwise though, Bill actually held it together fairly well in the part of the sketch where Kenan usually makes him laugh.
– The AIDS line was surprising. I didn’t think they’d get away with that.
Rating: *** 1/2

6. Jack White sings “Love Interruption” (2:45)

– A good slow-paced tune that was a bit out-of-character for White.

7. Weekend Update with Seth Meyers (9:26)
Guests: James Carville and Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi (with: Jon Hamm)

Best Jokes: Snooki pregnant; Seth Rogen: Stoner of the Year; Chuck Norris bridge

– Bill’s James Carville impression is as great as always and it was nice to see him back after not being around for almost a year. His mannerisms were great as always and I liked his bit on Cops, him mentioning that he should be king of the snakes, the random reference to his childhood enemy, and the whole bit with him going out with Newt Gingrich.
– It was also great to see Snooki do an Update commentary again and Moynihan had some funny comments as per usual. However, he looked a lot less orange than he usually did for this impression. I loved the bit with Snooki saying “Never once in my life did I think…” but the Jon Hamm cameo was the icing on the cake as the father of Snooki’s baby.
Rating: *** 1/2

8. Delinquent Girl Teen Gang (4:29)

A gang of rebellious dancing girls (Lohan, Armisen, Elliott, & Wiig) continue dancing in the streets despite the pleas of Officer Jenkins (Hader). Babette (Armisen), however, gets a little too close to the traffic and keeps getting hit by cars.

– This was an utter waste of time. The sketch was bad enough because of the one-note joke of Armisen constantly getting hit by cars but the fact that it hearkened back to that terrible Nascarettes sketch made it even worse.
– I did like Armisen asking if they can call it a night but that was a very minor part.
Rating: *

9. Digital Short: Afro (1:15)

Two people (Samberg & Wiig) who share an afro sing about falling in love while another man (Thompson) uses various instruments while singing about them as well.

– What the hell was this? This was one of the strangest digital shorts I’ve ever seen. That being said, it wasn’t as horrible as that last sketch but it certainly wasn’t good or anything.
– Kenan gave me my only laughs in this sketch.
Rating: **

10. B108 FM (5:05)

A couple of annoying morning DJs (Moynihan & Killam) talk about hip hop with their intern Illiterate Lisa (Lohan) and Karen (Bayer), the only normal one, reading the news.

– I gotta give Taran and Bobby credit for their performances here and they made this sketch much better than it had any right to be. I also gotta give “mad props” to Vanessa Bayer for her low-key mousy performance as well. She just keeps getting better and better as her tenure goes on.
– Lohan wasn’t too bad here.
– The listing of schools that are closed was funny mostly due to Killam constantly referring to Bayer as Jiggle Butt and Moynihan’s random “I’m gonna kill myself!” comment.
– The part with the radio hosts waiting for a call was funny as well.
Rating: ***

11. Chantix (1:42)

– Repeat from Charles Barkley/Kelly Clarkson (1/14/12).

12. Housesitter (4:42)

A new housesitter (Lohan) comes over to look after a young woman’s (Wiig) home but as she gives her the tour, she keeps receiving phone calls in which she becomes insane and yells into the phone to stop calling.

– This was a typical weird Kristen Wiig sketch but this was a whole lot better than that crab legs sketch and Wiig was really good with her insane performance here as usual.
– Lohan was a pretty decent straight character here and I did like how she was getting increasingly frightened, especially when Wiig said she was sorry that Lohan would die in her house.
– I also loved the weird comments Wiig would make between phone calls.
– The neckbrace on Wiig was a funny little detail.
Rating: *** 1/2

13. Verizon (1:31)

– Repeat from Zooey Deschanel/Karmin (2/11/12).
– ANOTHER repeat?!

14. Jack White sings “Sixteen Saltiness” (2:46)

– Another great performance although this one was a lot more fast-paced and hard-rock than the first.

15. Rude Buddha! (3:36)

Buddha (Samberg) gives various people (Lohan, Hader, Moynihan, & Bayer) some sage-like advice but it becomes painfully obvious that he is just being a dick and giving terrible life lessons out or ones that make no sense.

– This was kinda weak. Samberg tried but this was essentially the same joke over and over again. I DID like the Facts of Life reference.
– Lohan added absolutely nothing to this sketch. She wasn’t bad or anything but obviously the writers had no real place for her in this sketch.
– Nasim was good as the dialed-in assistant.
– The ending was funny and abrupt.
Rating: **

16. 70’s Album (:35)

A man (Sudeikis) sits in front of a fire and talks about how great it would be to have all your favourite 70s hits in one album.

– This was a hilarious blackout bit. It started off like any of those ads where they start talking about the CD and what it would include but having Sudeikis just ask the opening question and then trail off without doing the rest of the ad was great.
Rating: ****

17. Burnt by the Fire (:25)

The same man (Sudeikis) is back and this time, he burns his hand in the fireplace.

– Not quite as good, but still funny.
Rating: ***

18. Goodnights

OVERALL: Not a terrific show but certainly not the disaster that some people are saying it was. The show was a lot stronger in the pre-Update parts but there were only a few bad sketches with some really good ones sticking out as well. As far as Lohan’s performances, she is probably the weakest host of the season by default because of not really doing a whole lot and being stuck into a lot of supporting roles plus her weak delivery during the Scared Straight sketch. However, she wasn’t awful. Just average. So yes, it IS the worst show of the season but I still think it was pretty good.


HOST: LINDSAY LOHAN – 8 segments (Monologue; The Real Housewives of Disney; 2012 Psychic Awards; Scared Straight; Delinquent Girl Teen Gang; B108 FM; Housesitter; Rude Buddha!)

CAMEOS: JIMMY FALLON – 1 segment (Monologue)
JON HAMM – 2 segments (Monologue; Weekend Update)

FRED ARMISEN – 5 segments (FOX Report; 2012 Psychic Awards; Delinquent Girl Teen Gang; Verizon; Rude Buddha!)
ABBY ELLIOTT – 3 segments (The Real Housewives of Disney; 2012 Psychic Awards; Delinquent Girl Teen Gang)
BILL HADER – 8 segments (FOX Report; 2012 Psychic Awards; Scared Straight; Weekend Update; Delinquent Girl Teen Gang; Chantix; Verizon; Rude Buddha!)
SETH MEYERS – 2 segments (FOX Report; Weekend Update)
BOBBY MOYNIHAN – 6 segments (FOX Report; 2012 Psychic Awards; Scared Straight; Weekend Update; B108 FM; Rude Buddha!)
NASIM PEDRAD – 3 segments (The Real Housewives of Disney; 2012 Psychic Awards; Rude Buddha!)
ANDY SAMBERG – 6 segments (FOX Report; 2012 Psychic Awards; Scared Straight; Delinquent Girl Teen Gang; Afro; Rude Buddha!)
JASON SUDEIKIS – 5 segments (FOX Report; 2012 Psychic Awards; Scared Straight; 70’s Album; Burnt by the Fire)
KENAN THOMPSON – 4 segments (Monologue; 2012 Psychic Awards; Scared Straight; Afro)
KRISTEN WIIG – 8 segments (FOX Report; Monologue; The Real Housewives of Disney; 2012 Psychic Awards; Delinquent Girl Teen Gang; Afro; Chantix; Housesitter)

VANESSA BAYER – 4 segments (The Real Housewives of Disney; 2012 Psychic Awards; B108 FM; Rude Buddha!)
TARAN KILLAM – 4 segments (FOX Report; The Real Housewives of Disney; 2012 Psychic Awards; B108 FM)
JAY PHAROAH – 1 segment (2012 Psychic Awards)

EPISODE MVPs: Bill Hader/Kristen Wiig

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  2. […] Lindsay Lohan/Jack White […]

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